A Cow is Tired Of the NBA All Star Game. Make it Stop.
by MooheadFebruary 19, 2007 9:26 am
In cultural vernacular, the NBA All Star game has jumped the shark. I remember when the best players hit the floor, gave the fans a show, and the season went on. Mr Moohead knew he was in for a long night when:
1)Wayne Newton appeared with cheesy Vegas dancers. Not only were the dancers one grade below the “Solid Gold Dancers” (this is not a cultural compliment), but Wayne looked like he had been attacked by 1000 rabid botox injections. He made Liberace look warm (and Lee’s been dead for many years now, moo). Poor Wayne was corseted tightly enough to redden his wrinkle free, bloated face. I turned to my wife and said “If he sings Danke Shen, I’m gonna go postal”. Sure enough, right on cue, the bulbous, polyester skinned, corseted crooner started singing his anthem. I can’t imagine what guys like Shaq and D Wade were thinking. The Louis Leaky Foundation was thrilled to discover a Vegas dinosaur in a preserved state. “I’d say he dates back to the Paleozoic Era” stated an un-named archaeologist.
2)Shaq in the starting lineup. I know…he was voted in. But for God’s sake. The man is nailed to the floor. He can no longer elevate or move laterally. He runs into people. He’s like Godzilla, except he’s not as agile with a ball in his hands.
3) The obligatory 80 point half of scoring. The East subscribed to the “Go West” theory of defense. There were 5 spectators on the floor. The guy eating popcorn in section 212 was more into the game.
4) We get a race between a 67 year old referee, and a fat, ignorant, gambling addicted former athlete. When the fat guy wins because he’s 23 years younger, he presents the check by saying “We’re donating 2 blackjack hands to charity”. The actual amount was $50,000…2 blackjack hands and the real reason the corpulent unintelligible Barkley was in Vegas to begin with.
5) Someone gets DQ’ed in a pregame all star shootout for shooting out of turn. These things have rules?
6) Token WNBA players being forced in our faces. Like a Cow wants to see a few women chuck up 10 foot jump shots on a team with 2 men. I’m not being sexist. Did you notice that NONE of the women shot the difficult shots? If I wanted to watch the WNBA, I’d join the other 500 who do. (Not to mention every woman was stepping WAYYYY over the mid court line just to get the ball to the hoop from mid court.)
Guys going half speed, no defense, uncontested layups, turnovers, bad passes, steals off bad passes. Can you imagine what would happen if the baseball all star game was like this? Pitchers throwing batting practice 70 mph fastballs, hitters not running out ground balls, pitchers not throwing strikes.
Either play the game or banish it. It the players association is scared of injuries…just skip the damn game. The best dunkers will not participate in the slam dunk contest any longer. So we get Gerald Green versus Nate Robinson. Whoop-de-doo. I’ll pass. Into a double team. For no reason. And watch the other team lay it in. Make it STOP!
February 19th, 2007 at 10:03 am
I think its a rule that if you play defense in the ASG you get called for illegal defense, thats technical foul. You get called for that if you even try to contest a shot
February 19th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Moo,
I used to be glued to the TV for All Star weekend. I could care less now. I used to love the slam dunk competition and 3-point shootout. I never liked the old-timers game. They moved too slow and didn’t do much. I like the Rookies/Sophomores game. I think it’s exciting to get a glance at the future. I watch part of the slam dunk competition as I was doing work at home. I didn’t watch anything else nor did I watch the all star game. I get tired of it being a popularity contest. Shaq (though I love him) should not be an all-star this year. He played in a handful of games. Let somebody he is having a good year and is deserving to play. They may not get another chance with Shaq always there. Some guys would dream to play but can never get there. Change the voting process to a system that rewards good seasons. Make it a mix of fans, media, and coaches for votes. How about giving the last 2 spots of each roster to a fans vote with the rest part of the mix vote?
I also don’t care for the WNBA. I respect them and think they are talented but it’s not something that is going to get me to watch.
February 19th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
OK, call me crazy, the D-League All-Star game was more intriguing, because the players were playing basically a real game, trying to impress scouts.
I don’t what to do with the NBA All-Star Game, for all the hoopla, they should do SOMETHING to make it mean something. I don’t know if I’d put the homecourt advantage of the Finals on the line, similar to baseball, but something should be done.
(Incidentally, baseball should get rid of that and go with “winning league in the World Series gets to host homefield in the World Series next year.” Anything that forces Red Sox fans to root for the Yankees can’t be all bad.)
Moo.
February 21st, 2007 at 3:12 pm
HitMen stay perfect. Don’t pay their rent for another week….
In a week full of controversy, and internet rumors surrounding the Eastern Indoor Football League the Mahoning Valley HitMen stayed perfect by screwing over their sponsors and vendors. The Panthers showed why Chauncey Coleman and his top associate chose to walk away.
In a pre season meeting between the HitMen and Panthers the HitMen never paid Steve Lisko a dime. On Saturday Terry was given an eviction notice by police. “Tell Lisko to wipe his ass with it” said a perturbed Terry to the amazement of the police officers.
Saturday Feb., 24th 7:30
Th reformulated Mid American Buzzards with all new players except 2, because the old team quit because they weren’t insured.
at
Mahoning Valley HitMen- If they can gain entrance to the dome.
February 21st, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Wow, Jim Terry finally got in Wonder Woman’s magic lasso and told the truth for once.
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:11 am
Jim Terry, thank you for finally telling the truth and admitting how you have screwed people (especially those who tried to help you) over.
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:53 am
Guys… his name links to daddyhelpme.com do you seriously think that’s really him?!
February 22nd, 2007 at 11:45 am
It has to be him.
Who, in their right mind, would want to pass himself off as Jim Terry, other than Jim Terry?
February 22nd, 2007 at 12:05 pm
There was an earlier post by who any rational person would think was Jim Terry. Basically bashing coach Coleman with that press release and touting his next game. (Which is of course laughable given he was just served eviction papers.) Had some profane message in the name field.
It…got…altered…somehow…