When Does A City Get A Frikkin’ Break?
by MooheadFebruary 23, 2007 12:44 pm
People in Youngstown know about tough times. That’s why sports are so big in the Valley. Pick your team, cheer for a few hours, and put the daily grind behind you. You turn to sports to get away from the crime, shootings and bad news that dominates the local news. Then you discover the guys playing the sports are shooting up nightclubs, and participating in brawls. It ain’t just Youngstown, my Pastureheads.
There were 350 reported crimes in Vegas over the NBA All Star Weekend, including a blatant shooting in the MGM Grand parking lot. Makes you wanna check out real quick. (We’re sorry about the bullet hole in your suitcase, Mr Moohead). Not even the MGM Grand could “comp” their way out of a shooting spree (Here’s a few chips for the roulette table…hope your wife survives the gunshot).
And what to say of sister Cleveland? A football team that was lost, then reclaimed. But it came back as some sort of evil joke. Since 1999, the Browns have been a model of incompetence. Free agents get career ending injuries, draft picks don’t pan out, QB’s go down like ducks in a shooting gallery. And now…the growing staph infection infestation at the Berea Complex (I still think there’s a STAFF infection there as well).
So today, the sun shines on a dog’s ass. The Browns won a coin toss and got the #3 pick in the draft. Tampa Bay lost the toss. They had the same record as Cleveland, and watched their team go from a Super Bowl contender under Tony Dungy, to an also ran who has worse luck than Cleveland. Then they watch Dungy win the big one. Not to mention the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who have won as often as Allen Iverson has won a Championship.
Which moves us to Denver, which went from John Elway to Jake Plummer in 10 years. From the 3 Amigos to Hasta La Vista. And now Plummer’s going to Houston to play for the Texans, who passed on Vince Young in the draft to select terminally injured Mario Williams. The Texans? They hired ex Browns coach Chris Palmer AFTER he decimated the Browns in 1999 and 2000. Houston? Ask George Foreman about growing up on the streets of Houston. Did someone say Houston? Whitney Houston is named after the damn city and can’t get outta rehab. How bad is that?
Let the fools rip the Valley. I’m a Cow and I’ve been around more than a few pastures. You don’t live in the worst place in America. But not to worry. If you enjoy reading about crime and misfortune, keep following sports on Moohead Radio. Even if you’re safe and snug, we’ll bring you misery from every quadrant of the map. I hope you feel better now. Moo.
February 24th, 2007 at 10:35 am
Even though Jim Terry said that this is the worst place in the USA, I like living here. He’s from Florida, so what does he know? He can take himself and his make believe football league back to the everglades, to live with the rest of the reptiles.